Choice
by 0xPockyx0
Summary: To have loved and lost... yet feelings are relative. Yuuki makes some "mature" decisions, in some mature situations, maturely. Future positive "maturity". I think I might rate this as Mature...


**A/N: Me again D: The usual things are a given as with all my stories, Kaname's a prick, Yuuki's confused, Zero's a sex god. Kinda siding on Kaname/Yuuki interactions for a few chapter, inserted a few past conversations that never really happened, anime style nothing-ever-happened-but-leaving between Zeki. I guess its out of character a bit techniqually but I had to stretch a few things here and there to satisfy my storytelling (Forgive the later on inevitable pun) Also, The Simple truth was supposed to have ended because I suck at tie-off-the-loose-ends epilogues, but im giving in to peer pressure and writing one, just hold your horses... sometimes they need to be held :'(.**

**Chapter One:**

She sat before her vanity, brushing out her hair in long, sure strokes. She ran her hands through it in wonder. She loved her longer hair, how grown up it made her feel. The barrier it put between her old life and this new one was negligable in her mind, she saw only the flowing, feminine tresses that made her feel almost pretty, as Kaname told her she was. No one else ever said they wanted her, that she was beautiful. Although she didn't believe him, the simple act of saying so was endearing, besides... who else would have her?

Replacing her brush amoungst the haphazard collection spilling across the table surface, she stood, intending to get her things and have a shower when she was interrupted by a soft knock on her bedroom door.

"...Kuran-sama?"

_Ah, wrong door, they'll figure it out in a second..._ she dismissed as she gathered a towel, clean clothes and sakura scented soap.

"...uhm... Kuran-sama?" _Hes down the hall you dolt... _"...Miss Kuran!"

_Oh... right..._

She changed course, heading for the door just as it swung open.

"Miss Kuran!... my apologies! We thought... well you took so long to answer... didnt answer that is uhh..." Fumbled the flustered man as he bowed to her.

"Its fine... what is it..." she found herself replying with the beginnings of apprehension as to why her usually kind and softspoken servant was so nervous in her presence.

"I have been ordered to begin moving your things to the master suite if it pleases you Kuran Yuuki-sama. It was thought that you would have left your rooms already this evening, We shall wait until you have, apologies for the inconveinience" He drawled bowing as he backed out of the room entirely and swung the heavy door back into place.

The click of the door seemed to resound through the somewhat modest house, small rivulets of dust cascading from the ceiling and there, upset by the movements of the living. She placed a pale hand on the wall soothingly, understanding the confusion wrought by feeling set in place for years only to have past occupants of memory return and lay claim. The old house, a simple two storey affair was the safest location for their retreat after the war with Rido on short notice. Designed as a single-vampires retreat it was somewhat bursting at the seams with herself, Kaname, five servants and the majority of the old night class who wished to stay with them. Upon arrival she had merely flopped down upon the first bed she saw, claiming what appeared to be a nursery upon later inspection for herself. The fact that it was a single bed and two rooms seperated from the master bedroom and connecting study was remarked upon by many, but she was comfortable there and the subject hadnt openly arose in the few months they had been in residence.

Letting herself out down the darkened hallway to the main bathroom sureptitiously, she locked the door behind her with a satisfying clack and began running water for her shower as she undressed. Yanking her hand in and out of the water until it reached the temperature she desired, she stepped into the flow in one decisive motion. She stood there waiting as her body adjusted to the shocking warmth before leaning against the cool tiles of the wall, enjoying the contrast of the two. She cast her muddied thoughts out into the steam waiting to have them returned to her clean and clarified. Moving into the master bedroom could mean many things surely... it was probably just to free up her room for the others, undoubtably sick of the makeshift co-ed bunk room that the library had been transformed into. Feeling set in her ways in her small almost personalised space she had created she hadn't considering having to move again so soon, the thought was upsetting. She imagined the grumpy old door sad to see her go, such personality in its unerring patience and handle that looked like a mustache... she chuckled softly. Naivety began to evaporate with the water dewing on her skin as she mused. She felt so young within her own skin, untried...untested... never asked for advice or her opinion on matters of the household. What was to be expected of her? She ran over her relationship with Kaname in her head... wondering why she hadnt been asked whether she _wanted _to move into the same room as him. Then again when had she been asked anything. From his first question, almost statement telling her "Be my lover..." so that he may protect her. She didnt recall answering... did she say yes? though she was fairly certain she didnt explicitly say no...

It moved so fast after that, everyone but her being certain that she belonged to Kaname, had agreed, pledged herself to him. From his statement, through the big fight... and flight from the academy to the present. A month after settling in he had commented on her appearance, favourably, and cut off her reply with a bruising kiss. Her first proper kiss. She looked shyly away and he seemed pleased by her reaction. When trying to recall what her first kiss felt like later that day, the only word that came to mind was wet. It was over too fast to have an opinion, felt like nothing.. she felt so inexperienced and stupid comparing her thoughts to romantic books and poems. Concluding that writers overeacted about love, she smiled at having someone who wanted to kiss her, that surely counted for something in her indefinitate existance.

Another month...maybe two she couldnt recall he used his method of quietening her again. Biting her lower lip decidedly ungently as he did so, though not drawing blood. Was he hungry? It seemed odd to her. Why bite her lip? If he needed blood he could have asked. Or maybe that was him asking and she had stupidly not responded to his advances and he would be mad at her. Her uncertainty made her cautious around him for days, extended by his confused frown in reply. Pleased by his imagined forgiveness when he pulled her to his side alone in his study a week later she smiled up at him, rewarded by a icy smile in return before he pushed her somewhat roughly onto the couch kissing her feverously. Shocked she attempted to tentatively respond back all the while thinking how silly he looked with his eyes closed like that. Then suddenly his hands were searching her stomach, finding the edge of her blouse and shoving upwards bursting the lower buttons as he grasped at her chest. She stiffened, uncomfortable and embarrassed as he painfully pinched at her flesh. She winced, wanting to cover herself and was saved by a knock at the door. He grinned lopsidedly at her before sending her on her way back to her room, the knock was more important.

She dwelled on this for sometime. She wasnt entirely in the dark, she had attended health class with the rest of her school year, read a few...novels. But she just couldnt make the leap between heated whispers and mutual exploration to what she was feeling. Putting it down to her own inexperience and naivety once more, she also dwelled on the warnings the teachers had enforced, about being ... "Prepared" A week later she had utilised her once a month outing to visit a human doctor and procure birth control pills, hiding them in her coat she returned to the house feeling mature and in control of her life... if only breifly. As she took her pill with a glass of dissolved blood tablets each night she felt empowered. She could decide some things for herself.

Sliding down the shower wall she blasted herself with a sudden rush of cold water bringing her back to the present. Shivering she readjusted the water resolving to lean further away from the control in the future. With a sigh she accepted the return of current problems from the humid surroundings, bruising her tailbone slightly as she sat resolutely. Even without the added fear of pregnancy, she wasnt sure what she wanted to do about her virginity yet, but she did know she wanted to lose it when _she_ chose. Given that she had already promised herself through either agreement or inaction to Kaname, there was no real guessing regarding to whom. Wondering what sex would be like when she couldnt even bring herself to use tampons, curiousity overwhelmed her embarrassment towards her own body. Stepping out without caring about soaking the floor, she double checked the door was locked before seizing a long but slender hand mirror from beside the sink and rushing back to the waters warmth. Steam fogged the mirror's surface distorting her wary eyes as they stared back at her, grabbing the soap she briskly rubbed the reflection untill it somewhat repelled the fog. Glancing once more at her slightly wavy face she breathed slowly to calm herself and sat once more. Feet pulled tight together, she pulled her knees up to her chest before lowering them sideways, revealing her inner self to the angled mirror and her own scrutiny.

_This is way weirder than looking at the diagrams in class... _she blushed recalling her somewhat detached knowledge of what was normal and comparing various features. Realising the main difference was being more...closed... she gingerly reached down with her spare hand and spread herself gently. That was more like she remembered... her search enabled, she located what she was looking for. _So you're what I give up... a pointless section of skin... _she almost spoke aloud before realising her location, situation and subject matter. Snapping her legs together she smothered giggles that tasted slightly hysterical. The water took a decided turn towards tepid signalling an end to her... adventure.

She padded softly out of the bathroom, a towel her only cover, wondering why these things even mattered to her in the first place.


End file.
